She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
In other news, I just burned my penis
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
