guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Enjoy the penises
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
