If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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