Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
