No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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