do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
