so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
