I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
