I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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