but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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