If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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