garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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