When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
