You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
