just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
