please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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