That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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