i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
