Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
