i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
