I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
