So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
