my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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