Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
