how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
