Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
