Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
