let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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