yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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