no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Boobs speak an international language.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
