I am in a vortex of obligation.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
