I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you mean i was at the winter classic?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
