He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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