Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
