the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
