Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
