The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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