Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
