Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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