she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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