it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize