i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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