This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
