I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
