I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
we made out on top of his cat.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
