so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
