I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
