I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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