We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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