Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
