i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
