What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
