One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
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