You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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