So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize