Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
