Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
