You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
