so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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