Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
