I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
