Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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