He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize