Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
