kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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