she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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