Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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