that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just threw up on my dentist
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he puts the penis in happiness.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
