We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
