just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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